Twilight-The Review

So, I threatened to do this a long time ago; and here it is.

Most would suspect that a review on this movie coming from a guy would be pretty harsh. While there were a variety of obnoxious issues, I will say for the most part that I enjoyed the movie and thought it was overall a good show. Let me bring a few things to light to justify why I liked the movie. I know any guy reading will mock me for the rest of my life for defending this film, but I'll try and give a fair assessment of likes and dislikes about it.

Negative:
Special Effects- Needs work. I'll give it a "C" overall. There was one scene with the van in the parking lot that I think was very impressive. Not because of the technical aspect of pulling it off, but for the emotional/dramatic impact it had. It was a compelling scene. But that one scene doesn't make up for the rest of the film's sub-par performace. The flying/running/jumping of the vampires in the forest and playing baseball and in most scenes reminded me of something from a high school play. The baseball game in general was a cool idea, but it fell short to me. The body positions and movements were unatural and awkward looking. It was bad enough to be distracting. Also the whole glittery skin thing I just didn't even see. Maybe I was tearing up at the bad effects prior just prio to this scene and missed it; but Edward's Big Reveal Moment went completely unnoticed by me. He stood on a rock in the sun, and I couldn't tell anything was supposed to have happened. I could tell by the reaction in the audience that something was different, but it wasn't done well. In the next scene, it was obvious but came off more as cheesey and lame rather than interesting and exciting.

Directing: In the words of Will Smith from MIB 1, "Somebody get a [director] in here fast....cuz, DAMN!" Its a good thing that the director "has other projects" keeping her from working on the next movie, because for the most part she stunk it up. Everybody knows it, that's why she is not returning. Who would not put everything on hold to do a sequel for a hugely popular movie? She should have had more control over the effects and how poorly they were coming off on the finished product. There were also some questionable lines, the worst of all competing for dumbest "anything" in a movie last year with "Hang on little Spider Monkey." What that supposed to be cute and playful? Garbage. Its giving Indy Jones's "Nuke the Fridge" scene a run for its money. As the director, I think she didn't keep things tight in general and it came off as little frayed and frazzled.

-The End. The ending sequence with the Hunter blonde guy didn't ever build up to much for me. There was a decent lead up, but the chase scene wasn't great, and the culmination was like "was that it?" Sure the guy has more fight in him that that.

Positive:
Movies are much more fun in the theater. Surrounded by others who have been waiting to see a movie just like you. There is an excitement for any anticipated movie like this. We went on opening night, it was packed and it makes it more fun. The crowd laughs at scenes you wouldn't really laugh at otherwise. For example when Edward goes to meet Bella's house to meet her dad and he's cleaning his shogun. "Send him in" he tells her as her snaps the breach closed. It was funny at the time and the crowd loved it, but at home watching with just your family or a small crowd it will probably get overlooked. To me it was a lot of these little things that made me like the show in general. the first day of schoold was similar, the scene when the Cullen's were introduced and Jasper looked hillarious, or the scene with the fan in the science room. I wonder how these will translate to the small screen.

-Actual high schoolers! I'm so sick of people in their mid 20's playing high school kids. Although, I believe mentally and intellectually, they may be qualified for the role, I just hate it. I really appreciated the awkward and "real" fealing kids in the school that are more believable.
-Sex. What? I don't think I've ever given props for a movie not having sex in it. It seems the natural reaction would be to complain about the like of it. I was VERY surprised that a Hollywood production about teenagers/high school and vampires didn't even go there. I thought it was a good message to kids that it wasn't something that everyone worriess about and is involved in like every other movie would have you believe.
-Casting. Although I haven't read the book, I liked the cast. I think Robert Patten must be a good actor, because I've seen interviews with him and he comes off as a huge dorky kind of guy. I thought Bella was not fantastic, she seemed to take the whole thing in waaayyyy toooooo easily. "Oh, you're a Vampire........Ok" Thats not unusual..... The years and years this one family has been around and nobody knows a thing huh, and then a girl shows up its so easy to see. Why didn't anybody see it before? I thought each character was mostly believable even if they didn't match the book version.

My final thoughts are for the guys that by instict or by ego instictively snicker and make fun of films like these. But I say, "Why?" Is it jealousy? Wouldn't we all like to be the ultra-cool, untouchable-godlike figures in high school. Wouldn't we all like to be that much better looking than those that surrounded us? Wouldn't we all like to be incredibly strong, inhumanly fast, impossibly attractive? My asnwer is an obvious Yes. Shouldn't we as guys applaud Edward's chivalrous desire to protect the girl he loves and not just be interested in getting in her pants? The scenes I like the best were the ones where he was stepping in to help her. The van scene, and the scene with the guys that tried to corner her at night. So maybe all the guys that make fun of it so much and hate it so much are just upset that its a movie, and that that level of perfection is out of reach for the mere mortals that we are. In general we'll never be that good looking, that strong, that ANYTHING, and I guess it makes a lot of us mad; afterall most of us are average when you look at the numbers.

I do get upset over teh people (pronounced G-I-R-L-S) that can't seem to separate the movie from real life and are WAY to into it. Its entertaining, but that's it.